A marine and the President
A Marine was on his way home from the pentagon and was stuck in traffic that he thought was worse than usual. Noticing a policeman walking among the stalled cars, he asked, "Officer, whats the holdup?"
The policeman says, "The President is so depressed about being impeached that he has stopped his motorcade and he's threatening to douse himself in gasoline and set himself on fire. He says he's betrayed his country, his family hates him, and he doesn't have the $33 million he owes his lawyers. I'm walking around taking up a collection for him."
"Oh, really?" the marine says. "How much have you collected so far?"
"Only 25 gallons, but a lot of folks are still siphoning!"