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Q. How many Republicans...

does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A. Four hundred and sixty two:

Twelve to investigate Clinton's involvement in the failure of the old bulb; twenty-three to deregulate the lightbulb industry; sixteen to cut funding for alternative lighting R&D; thirty-four to cut the tax rate on lightbulbs; fifty-three to design a block grant so the states can change the bulb; forty-one to talk with defense contractors about night-vision gear instead of lightbulbs; and two hundred eighty-three to pass a law making it illegal to discuss naked bulbs (or screwing anything) on the Internet.

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